Update

I am starting to feel very depressed. Thought I was building my entire life and planning it out. Steve broke up. Now I have to figuure things out. What's most important right now is to know if Steve and I are done. Sooner he makes a decision, easier it is for me. I can move on. I don't have time. Break ups are hard in general. It's very painful. My friends are going through divorces, breakups separation. Why am I attracting that type into my life? Priya is the only person who is happily married. She is also type A married to type B. March was rough. Lots of CISSP satudying that drained work and the relationship. Just have to focus. My mind is running all over. Ups and downs are life. Nothing is constant. Have to stop thinking it's normal to have all stable. No. Yesterday Nam unfollowed me on IG and I got a bit hurt because she was a great genuine friend. What I need to remember is that people outgrow their friends, lives change and people move on. It's not a bad thing. It's just that, things are not the same anymore. And have to embrace that change. Rushda and I don't talk a lot. She is in her own little place. Sharnali and I talk at times. I have to be more empathetic towards people. That's something I like about Emily. She can feel people a lot and responds sensitively. Not all the time but for the most part. Steve and I haven't spoken for about a week. I wonder what's going on in his life. I am done forcing things. I feel very depressed today. I missed yoga partly because my legs are still hurting from the last wednesday's workout. I need to clean the house today. Just have been feeling sick of everything. Have to prep for the industry talk.

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