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I haven't slept the whole night. My sleep got disrupted yesterday becasue of Steve's stupid game addiction and our boat party thing got totally messed up even though it turned out to be fun. Honestly it's been quite a restless night. I have been looking for apartments in Manhattan. Forest Hills and Brooklyn and glad to mention that I am in a position to buy a VERY TINY apartment. It's not perfect but it's something. I was looking at Murray Hill initially because it's quieter and I am more familar with the area. However, Murray Hill requires me to save more. July 19th is going to be a big day. I am going for the pregnancy testing, and then head over to MI, after I get back I have to again travel over to Kansas for a 3 hour interview. I am freaking nervous. But if I get nervous it's going to be perfect. Anyway, sad about missing the meditation program today. I haven't been going for 3 weeks now. I have been so tired. KC trip was hectic but was rewarding. My objective is to become a good coworker. I also got a bit nervous that Tara from JW checked my profile. AvePoint being a fucking asshole as well. I am scared of being screwed back but I can;t be becasue the evidence I have is solid. I need to have faith. I am also happy that I have saved up a lot. The bonuses are paying off like hell. Man this job is a life saver. I like Burns. Nice culture, stable and rewarding. Much better than the messy startup culture that's so chaotic and doesn't give stability .At this stage in my life I am looking for stability. I am not ready to go through someone else's crazy stupid adventure and learning. I need a job, work hard and make money to save up for a family. I am not able to sleep because I am puttin gin a lot of thing sin my head - business idea, kids, house, nanny etc. The thing is all good ideas come to me under stress. Man this sucks. I got a good business idea today about outsourcing security staff. Kind of adopting the same busienss model that Mifnaz is using. Anyway overall I am very happy. For next year, if everything goes well, I don't have to rent again. I can buy a nice apartment with a doorman and start saving up for equity. I also need to visit Sri Lanka. So many expenses this year.

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