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Cutting off my brother tremendously helped me in relieving stress and improved focus.I have to urge to communicate which I am resisting from within because I know any type of communication with him only brings more stress. I have to do what's good for me. I want to also go to work. It helps in reducing stress caused by Steve and being more productive at work. Living a normal life even when my pregnancy test indicates positive helps me stay relaxed. Chhsu has not messaged me to even check on me. It's weird. She is also the kind of girl who si not relationship focused but is focused on having a good time. This is why I liked Emily but Emily was always crossing boundaries, did not respect who I am as a person. Making friends as an adult is hard. I also have to be more open and kind while always setting personal boundaries.
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Boundaries with my brother

Not to give him money whnever he asks Not to give in Stick to the word
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Pregnancy

Definitely been a challenging month. Dizzy, lack of energy and been faintish. It has affected my productivity level. I also need to get through my CISSP so there is not much time. Work is gtting more challenging.
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Update

Getting involved in the entire Sri Lankan drama has been exhausted because my brother would not take any action, doesn't have hte courage and would not follow what I say. I don't even like to go down to the level of dealing with sri lankan people. It affects my image and my status. I like to help the poor but I don't want to deal with it in a way that it affects my status like what's happening now. They already walk up 5 ft high and I don't want to inflame it more. Dealing with my brother has been most exhausting. Liteally I wish he dies. I just can't help him. Every time I try to help him, he screws me over by taking the side of people who try to destroy him. Maybe he is possessed. I just don't know. I sense a lot of hostility from my current network on Facebook. 5 more days to go and I will be deactivating my Facebook to take legal action here in the US. I need to report this issue to the HSBC NYC so that I can protect myself if Sri Lankans sue me. One ...
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Update

My hormones are going crazy. About my brother, I don't know if it's my hormones or the normal behavior but I have been tagging HSBC and naming people in public a lot for the past few days. Finally it addressed the issue though. They granted him leave. I came to the understanding that at this time in life, my brother doesn't even know what is best for him. He has got so sucked into the system so bad, he doesn't know there is anything better. When he was planning on buying the bike I knew he is in a whole different socail segment. lt's kind of like Suvineetha nenda and my father's brother. They are in totally different social levels. I wonder if the same had happened to two siblings who grew up in the same circumstances in the same family. When I take my brother and I, it looks like we are from two different parents who grew up in totally different circumstances. For me, I have been industrial always. Goibg to Colombo uni was a lifechanging decision. It completely...
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Update

Maybe it's my hormones goign crazy and overreacting. I am so worked up and can't wait until I take down Punsara. I want to keep fighting and take her down and won't stop until I do. I am SO MAD! Need to calm down. I am going to get my phones fixed and after that going to back up avepoint data. ALso going to go for a run at central park. I need to think so much about my food clothing every freaking move now that I am pregnant Have to be very careful. I have changed. Feel like I am slowing down. It's crazy. I was running at 20 mbps and suddently it feels like my life is at a stand still. I don't like to move to Jamaica and always love to live in Manhattan. But Steve wants to get a 3 BR in Jamaica Queens close to the temple. Just going to wait how things go and see. I think I am overreacting. I have to take a step back. I am so fucking mad!
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Update

So I am pregnant! What a shock. I am still in disbelief. Lol. 35 years of life and finally made it a whole different milestone in life. First was getting my first job. Then moving abroad. Starting uni at 22. I should have moved to the UK at 22 but hell, I waited, blew up my chances. But the US is far more better. I am very happy to be pregnant. I don't want to leave NYC. I just cant picture myself leaving NYC ever. Steve persists on leaving to a healthier state which is better in terms of environmental pollution.
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