2022

As usual, my brother is wasting my $900 as well. He has already wasted $700. You can't help people who don't want to help themselves. Also he moves at a very slow pace. I think my option right now is to write to SLIIT and request for a refund. I am very frustrated. I have a ton of work today. Also need to focus on my pregnancy stuff but it's equally frustrating because I am not getting pregnant. Right now I don't even care anymore. Just going to move on with my normal life and let destiny decide what's for me. Everything has its time. This weekend was good. I met many friends. Sharanya definitely was not my type and I didn't really like her. She came off just too selfish and demanding, rude. Type A. That's ok. But I just don't like her attitude, manipulation and lies. It was just a $22 meal but that said a lot about her. Even though I paid for it, she wrapped it up and took it home and lied saying she was going to eat more. I have started to judge even ...

I am having anxiety every time I check the papers. No updates from lawyers.

Yesterday I was sleep deprived so today I slept a lot. Feel like a failure not being able to get pregnant. Suddenly it hits me I am fraeking old. I should have married Gihan at the age of 23. I will not give up. I will keep trying. Main thing is to keep Steve happy so that he will increase the frequency of having sex. Also need to bring my weight down and exercise regularly.

I was not able to sleep well last night. Was mad at brother for being stubborn and stupid, also was restless. Maybe it's the laundry incident. I really want to get out of shitty housing. It's not really that bad but I realized Olympia which I paid $4000 for was way better. I wish I can negotiate with John for a raise. Have to get through CISSP and then I should be fine. Glad I switched teams to JOhn's. It gives me hope. Joe evaluated me based on all the bs. John gives emphasis on the work and is very professional. I like it so far.

I saw the court hearing date and next thing I did was I checked my horoscope for those days. It matches up with what was going to happen in December 2024. Of course I am super anxious because most of the horoscopes didn't predict a good ending

Weekend goes so fast. Saturday I was so exhausted that for most of the day I slept. I had an interview for an advisory position at a non profit and I hated an interview in a weekend to be honest. Also felt like it's not what I am looking for becasue I am looking for something STEM related. I have decided to remove Sri Lankan parasites from my life. Chin, Dhanushka. They are just watching you, trying to use you etc. I don't want any of them. I have to take a break and block Chin. Going to wait for a bit because things are still fresh. The fact that Chin is still in good terms with my harasser in Sri Lanka alarms me. I can't believe I befriended someone who knows my harasser. I have to take a breath always before I respond to people than acting on impulse. Anyway,if I block Chin right away it doesn't look good. Have to wait a bit. I am exhausted. Weekend is not enough to do everything. Most of my efforts go into non value adding activities like, scrolling throuhg social m...

I had a bad dream last night and it's related to Steve. He was kind of selling me off or something. It was a bad draem. I ahve noticed that every time I use psychic readings, for the most part, I get bad dreams. It's almost like some negative evil energy is entering into me. I have to somehow resist that urge. I use all that out of anxiety It doesn't help. I am so scared of this lawsuit and it's because I have never sued an employer. At the same time I know it's worthwhile because I learn a lot along the way. and I didn't do anything wrong.

So I got a court notification from AvePoint. They are not giving in. Court date is set. I am nervous. Have to work harder on this case. It's in 2024, December. Also need to get through my CISSP, CPP, and apply for Harvard PHD. Might also apply for the stanford MBA. I don't want to move. love NYC. If i can do these programs remotely, I woudl do. I am not going to move out to NYC. Yale is in CT. Might be a better option so will try that as well. I don't see myself moving to Boston. I am starting to see a lot of my father in Steve's. Nanda was right. She said I will understand it all when I grow up, and I did. I understood why my father and mother didn't work out, why I felt my father didn't love me enough when he punished me etc. My mother was wrong in one thing- It's not that our father didn't love us, it's that his definition of love was different to hers. I asked her to get back with my father and she hated it. Little did she knew that we wanted h...