2022

Yesterday Steve and I did the almsgiving. We both got pirith nool. It was mainly dedicated for my father. I miss both my mother and father. They did a lot for us. Also Sumathipala- my dear parent after father died and we had nobody we trusted. I trusted Sumathipala even though my brother had some sort of jealousy, anger right from the start. He felt the need to control sumathipala. I saw him more as a fatherly figure and not as someone who works for us. Honestly he was a fatherly figure and he was there for us, in the name of my father. I hated the fact I didn't answer my father's last call. Was brainwashed by lokuu amma who said he was faking an illness. You see, this teaches how important it is to question things, what people say and not to blindly believe anything. Much of the effort should not be spent on the past or on reminiscensing the past. It's time to focus on the future. There's still a lot to be done. After 7 fucking years!!!! I am finally with a company tha...

Investing in real estate now that my H1b is approved, looks lucrative. What's bothering me? Crisis situation in Sri Lanka, Having been rejected by people I called family here in the USA. I need to have faith. Need to have faith that things will work out. I want to focus spending 80% of time on the 80% of things that matter, not the 20% of things that waste time. I want to write a book, do auditions, probably model, invest in real estate, and see where I excel, and not get stuck in the corporate.

I haven't been blogging for awhile. I got COVID and also had a lot going on. Now feeling a lot better. Yesterday I met with 4 girls and it was a nice growth opportunity for me. I learned differences in people from different cultures, upbringing. I clicked with a girl named Elena. Kaiyan was nice too. Found things in common with them. Also the Cybill looks like a nice girl as well. Brooke was a little different and we didn't really click. I don't think I would want to hang out with Brooke again. But definitely would hang out again with Elena Cybill and Kaiyan. Leila is nice too. I have been in NYC only for 3 months and already have made more friends than I had in St. Cloud. People here are more open and are different. Having grown up in a city, I would never want to live in the country. Yesterday for the first time, I ironed all the washed and dried clothes, folded them. This is after like 20 years. It's crazy to think how I have been living below norms for over 2 decade...

After 6 years of struggle, my h1b got approved. I don't feel anything even though I should be jumping in joy. I am just indifferent, tired and I just don't care. Was the struggle worth it? No. It was such a stupid struggle. I could have used my 20s full of energy much more effectively but instead I spent hours and hours on exams. What a waste. I wanted to start a business, act, grow a base and try everything. Instead, I had to leave all my social media and focus 100% on immigration. I also found many short cuts to immigration such as the unskilled green card which is a lot more easier. Honestly, it was all so stupid. I am a grown woman in early 30s now. Time flies. Life doesn't feel the same way like it did during the 20s. However, I am doing great thankfully. I have a good job and I live in an affluent area in New York city. I could afford it all. I am studying for another exam just to make sure I have a firm ground. I have a genuine caring man even though the circumstance...

It's very disappointing when predictions don't come true.