2022

I feel very sad to move out of Manhattan. This is the best feeling ever in living in such an amazing affluent exclusive lively area. At the same time, if I have resorted to the steady comfortbale job in Justworks, i won't be able to think of having kids this year. Because I made $155,000 at justworks and $4000 went into my rent. So for a month I am only left with $4000. The plan is to put in $3000 for 3 years to build $100,000 to have kids. That means, I would be 37. Emily is 37 and her egg count is drastically low and there is very low possibility of having kids. I can't wait for that long realistically. THat's going to be a conversation with Steve on 1/28. In this new job, I have the possibility of saving up $100,000 in this year itself. If I move to Queens then my rent is goign to be half of what I am payign now. and my salary took a bump of $50,000 almost. Thats the commission componenet. So there is a possibility I can save $100,000 this year in the BEST case scenario....

Thsi year is goign to be tough. ThT'S A known fact.It's goign to be utterly stressful. A new job, family planning, and a very touch scary court case. I have to be ultra organized this year and be very cautious with time.

Seeing that James is still employed by Avepoint yesterday was very demotivating. It seems like they never knew the truth. Or they are all on one side and wanted to get me out becasue they were playing a dirty game together and others were just tagging along.

I am trying to understand what happened, how I am feeling and what's the truth and what I need to do. It started off with Emily speaking to me in a very disrespectful manner. Going back to that I remember how she witnessed Akemi speaking to me in a disrespectful manner in a mother tone. Perhaps it fuelled that. This is a learning opportunity on how I need to learn to handle different people. Not everyone is nice and respectful. How do I handle these people and still optimize the relationship because they are still a value addition, necessary people in life, not emotionally but materialistically. How do I exert a boundary yet be friends with them. The workplace is very much similar. More than anything else, it's about being so forceful on myself to stop patterns of behavior. My mother was not definitely a good role model to have for public relations and leadership. She would have done better as a doctor than a lawyer. She definitely ddin't have the charisma. I should find a ...

This year I am choosing to control negativity in me, negativity in others and take control of my life. Not let into others' agendas and ill intentions, fake intentions. there is just so much selfishness in these girls I meet and it's astonishing. It's also draining. I have gotta say no. I have to learn to say no without losing the friendship. When hanging out with these women, it's important to remember I am number 1 in life. Choose me first. Or else they will drag me down and drain me Today I am thankful that I got two movie roles (background roles) in 2 big Hollywood movies just by my first ever audition, I have a committed man who is most likely willing to have a family with me, affordable doctor set up for egg freezing, I have got a well off family in the USA whom I can call anytime and who check on me all the time, Anyhow, I am in control of myself. Not drinking. I really want to drop both Emily and Kass even though Emily is a slightly bit better.