Life

I thought of starting a new blog. I am in a very good place in life right now. Moving to Manhattan, got a job at a company that's willing to sponsor me and making 3 times more than what I was making last year. And I have a man who cares for me and we have something real at the moment. At the same time, I am aware that life can go from 100 to 0 real quick. I am both scared, nervous, anxious and humble about it. I want to treat people assuming I am nothing and nobody so that even when I lose it all, people will still see me as me. Yet I question my thought process. It's like I have horribly devalued myself and my potential. I never listen to my inner voice. That's why I worked at Capital One for 1 1/2 years knowing I had potential to lead a team that time. I also listen to people who don't believe in me, like my uncle or my brother. But it's safe to know Steve has a lot of faith in me ( apart from my driving). He has helped me grow and had challenged me in a positive way. This week is going to be the last week at work. I am full of guilt. I feel like I tricked people. So I have to make Steve aware that the recruiter was aware of the visa situation yet he pressured me to figure things out myself to get his part of the commission. It's not like I am going to work with Tek Systems anyway. I also need to build the self discipline to draw boundaries. What I am doing well right now- job, relationship, friendships (okay for the most part), I am also excited that Grads app launch will be held next Monday, refurbishment work in Polonnaruwa is set to start in April, I have also decided to listen to my heart. I have a feeling Inoka akki's baas is not going to help me. It's more like the repetition of what happened previously. He could be good. But I have realized, it's easier to work when there's a professional relationship. So have found a better contractor. Then I am also applying for aiya's US tourist visa, Canadian visa, possibly UK and AU visas as well. Something will work out in the end. It's not bad.

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