Day 21

I had a bad dream. It's like I was stuck in a war zone and was running for my life. I think it happened becasue last night I was preoccupied with helping Ukraine and Sri Lanka. Watched a video of men being executed in Ukraine that set a very disturbing mood before sleeping. Perhaps I shouldn't have watched it before bed because there's nothing much that I could do. I booked an Airbnb in Uktained and bought Uber eats in Colombo to help someone. Also I feel financially abused when Inoka akki's son asked money to buy cricket gloves. There are so many out there who don't even have money to eat and why would I pay $57 for someone to buy cricket gloves? It was hard for me to say no even though i DIDN'T want ot use my hard earned money on something so unimportant. I realized next time I can say that I will send later and ignore. Also another thing I realized was not to talk about donating money to people and my charity work. It makes people think I have so much money to waste. I don't. I am also still building up. I have debt too. I don't agree with using money for leisure but rather using it for people who don't have money to even eat. Being financally abuse is common. It happened to me even with my own brother. That's why learning to say no assertively and setting healthy boundaries is important. I understand that Inoka akki doesn't really have a lot of money and it feels good to help a mother with kids. But I want to help them with necessities. I also know how much they waste money on cabs etc. I would choose to help them with education etc. However she has helped me in the past month so paying some money for that is not a bad thing. She is always there when I need her. I have realized that Amber heard being a high profile celebrity doesn't have classy friends. Her friends were either hair dressers or something. I will be financially abused in future too because I am surrounded by lazy less wealthy people. It will continue to happen so I should make a fake story and play low profile. Also finding wealthy network can help me too. Have to deviate from the less wealthy ones.

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