I am back

I haven't been blogging for awhile. I got COVID and also had a lot going on. Now feeling a lot better. Yesterday I met with 4 girls and it was a nice growth opportunity for me. I learned differences in people from different cultures, upbringing. I clicked with a girl named Elena. Kaiyan was nice too. Found things in common with them. Also the Cybill looks like a nice girl as well. Brooke was a little different and we didn't really click. I don't think I would want to hang out with Brooke again. But definitely would hang out again with Elena Cybill and Kaiyan. Leila is nice too. I have been in NYC only for 3 months and already have made more friends than I had in St. Cloud. People here are more open and are different. Having grown up in a city, I would never want to live in the country. Yesterday for the first time, I ironed all the washed and dried clothes, folded them. This is after like 20 years. It's crazy to think how I have been living below norms for over 2 decades because I was in student housing with minimum furtniture and amenities. Looking back, there are a few things I would have changed about my life that would have helped me/us better. 1. I would have let aiya face the reality of the situation and given him indepdendence to go through what he is meant to go through. This would have helped him in his growth for sure. Now we are paying the price of it 2. I would have lived in a girls' hostel. This would have definitely helped build a support system for me and would have felt less lonely and intense 3. I would never have broken up with Gihan. He was a responsible good man. This is also a bad decision I made that cost me almost 10 years of my valuable life. I think the above 3 would definitely have created a better life for me in the previous decade. When living in St. Cloud it was a depressing experience. People who are living in a certain situation can hardly see solutions for themselves. Having come out of the situation, I wouldn't have lives in St Cloud in the first place. I have been a straight A student and it's definitely an under-estimation of myself to live in such low grade area and study in a low grade school. I could have tried NYU. I am starting to realize how all barriers are in the mind. I was also so broke. I would have applied for Asylum in the first year. Also would have mingled with students more. I would have tried BDV. Looking back I would have had a fair estimation of myself that would have helped me take effective action. I would have found a different sponsor other than my uncle because that unfortunatley limited many of my opportunities. It was like living in a priosn. I mean everything in St. Cloud such as the Sri Lankan student crowd, culture etc. weren't a fit for me. It was a very gossipy toxic environment. Full of jealousy as well because I had the graduate assistantship. In the end, after7 years of struggle, I have made it big. I have moved to NYC and working in a managerial position earning six figures. There's still a lot to do. I need to get the PERM processing done. That's my next step. Also getting CISSP done can help me stabilize my career more. Once these things are stabilized, I can follow my passion. Right now, at least I have a clear path. I am glad I didn't stay in St. Cloud like how my uncle advised and did a Phd or EDD which was such a bad decision. I hated that small town. It was so dead and depressing and full of students with no opportunity. What's the point in living in the USA if I am livign in a small town like that. I can't capitalize the benefits of living in the USA but live with a bunch of country ignorant folks full of racism who are never going to support foreigners or immigrants. So glad I left that shit hole. I tried to move to Minneapolis but unfortunately my income level could not support and then the immigration document error on my OPT application dragged me back in to St. Cloud. Those were the hardest 2 years of my life. I swear. Hated every moment of that. 2018-2020. I like how Dini left the small town finally and had the courage to change her life. Now she is married and totaollly a different person.