Evening

Almost overcame a difficult day. Having gone through all this, I hate working with Yabing. She is going to try and make every opportunity to screw me over and of course it gives anxiety. She is protected by her bosses. Mario is the corrupt dog. I am 100% certain about it. Right now, I have asked myself, what do I want right now, what are my priorities and is my current job serving me. The least I want is a boss who determines performance based on the physical size. Don't try to screw me over. I still have a case and still have recordings. This is what I have learned from AvePoint. To keep written and recordings of every activity so that when something comes up, I can sue. It's great to see how AvePoint's lies are caught red handed when I have everything in recording. The chief risk officer trying to hide the loopholes from auditors etc. It's important to play by the brain and not by emotions. Anuj is welcoming of Yabing and he likes Yabing. It's clear from his intentions and actions. And Beth was ignorant in the sense that she was doing projects that are not very visible. Incidents are visible work. Well, it's wise to take a back seat on incidents at this time knowing Yabing can screw me over anytime. Reflecting back, I don't think I really want to have Josh in my team. He is not loyal and he lies. Definitely not going to have someone like that in the team. Losing in the investigation has both good and bad. Bad is that I have to endure a horrible experience and live in anxiety anticipating what time I am going to be fired. Good is that Yabing is in a victory mode and she has more and more confidence developed from this. So she is going to continue being the shitty person that will at one point will affect a critical stakeholder and will back fire on her. Note how she doesn't really help in projects but just give direction/commands and use the existing team to do those projects at any cost no matter what the bottlenecks are. I don't think Disney will get back soon or whether they will get back at all. Lucrative option for me right now is to switch teams. Things are going to take a stand still when Yabing is away. She still fucking attends the stand up. This is like goddamn military shit. Never a break to breathe and think. Just working like machines leads to unproductivity. I am literally overworked. And she has the balls to dictate even little things. On a positive note, at this point I jsut dont care. I don't feel any ownership for the function. So whatever she does is all hers and I just gotta leave. Honestly, if I am her, I will never have Ayman! What a disaster. And SOC managers are not software developers anyway. So many liberal arts folks become soc managers. She is such a shit hole. Righ tnow, my priorities are to get my green card filed, getting the peace of mind and time to study for my CISSP, Having the time to code for Grads so that I can develop coding skills, learnnig AWS and Devops so that I can build a sustainable future. The question is am I learning anything new in my job? I am not. So I will not stay. It's simple.If I was leading remediation, I could have learned something. I am drained. Best is mental health. Honestly, we often forget that our mental health is more important than anything. If the mind is in right state, you can accomplish anything. So it's important to keep the mind in good state.

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