Morning

I am trying to process feelings about my relationship. It has hit a point I am losing interest in it. It doesn't appeal to me anymore. I am 34, sick and alone in a room without anybody and suddenly it hit me that this could be my life when I am 80. My boyfriend never planned a future or a family with me. He has clearly conveyed recently (even though in 2018 he said someday he would want kids again) he neither wants to get married, nor he wants kids. I met this other girl just like me, 37 and dating all the great attorneys and physicians who want to committ to her. I feel what the hell am I even doing. This is NYC. People only care about your profession, looks and money. All the good guys out there care about it. It's not a trashy farm town. I feel I am just being stupid. Also it hit me that now that I have h1b, I can finally plan my life and future.

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