Chapter

I am trying to understand what happened, how I am feeling and what's the truth and what I need to do. It started off with Emily speaking to me in a very disrespectful manner. Going back to that I remember how she witnessed Akemi speaking to me in a disrespectful manner in a mother tone. Perhaps it fuelled that. This is a learning opportunity on how I need to learn to handle different people. Not everyone is nice and respectful. How do I handle these people and still optimize the relationship because they are still a value addition, necessary people in life, not emotionally but materialistically. How do I exert a boundary yet be friends with them. The workplace is very much similar. More than anything else, it's about being so forceful on myself to stop patterns of behavior. My mother was not definitely a good role model to have for public relations and leadership. She would have done better as a doctor than a lawyer. She definitely ddin't have the charisma. I should find a different role model for my corproate and social life. Wen is great but she is a type B personality.I mean honestly, I have come to realize what I want. I am looking for a meaningful relaxing friendships. Not stressful demanding ones. I am not looking to recreate corproate. For htat, people like Rushda are nice. Emily makes me feel uncomfortable but that's a growth opportunity. Kass is similar but I don't see any value in having her in life to be honest. She is a rude personality and not generous or empathetic. Emily at least gives back but very controlling. With people like that I should never given it. It makes them even bossier when I give in. So with people like that I have to strictly stand in my ground. This is all a good learning and a growth opportunity I need to embrace. Steve is afraid I will change. I need to grow as a person yet at the same time be what I need to be at home. Preferably, for close friendship, I prefer people like Rushda. I keep repeating the same mistake. I trust too fast. Shouldn't. Any friendship should mature with time.

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