June 2023

This year was a blast! Undoubtedly! I have saved up almost $20k!!! Also have paid of all my loans for the most part. I am not paying upstart off because I want to build my credit score. I am very happy with where I am at in my life. I am meeting with 2 of my previous coworkers today. It feels great to have the support. I have realized how important it is to make friends at work. I wish I could stay at Justworks. It was a very nice company to work for. SHould have been more patient. In this whole decade, I learned the importance of patience. No crappy situation lasts forever so have to wait patiently. Instead I rebelled in some workplaces believing that the corporations live by their word. They don't. It's all a game. Never speak up. Just do your job, come home and move on. At Burns, I am going to be patient. No matter what. Compassion solves all problems. Mark this month - I have made it. I was thinking. Coming back from Kansas city made me realize that I have made it. NYC is a dream. I want to buy a condo here. I undersatnd Steve's need to live close to his kids. But MI is a very depressing place. I fear at the thought of leaving NYC. This is my place. I found a home here, friends etc. It's a very open culture and it matters. I will give it a shot. Move to MI with him next year and see how it goes but I promise I will be very depressed with a town full of white country girls. That's not my type at all. Last night I coculd hardly sleep becasue I kept thinking baout moving to MI. It's high time to have kids. In my mind, I can do it all - career, kids etc. because my mum did it all. Steve had a different experience with his psycho mum so he doesn't want me to work while having kids. I am also having anxiety due to that because living on a single income, giving up on a whole career when we are hardly making it is scary. I don't mind if he is a millionaire. He earns less than me. And he has to pay child support thats 25% of his income. He is very impulsive. Makes decisions without discussion. I need to block a time on his calendar to discuss all these things.

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