Sunday morning

Gratitude is important. I am glad I mailed Steve's mum a gift. Also tipped the UPS guy $20. I regret because I realized that I think less before making a decision. And it takes so long for me to make decisions. I am very frustrated with myself. I am the queen of regret. Impulsive emotional decisions lead to regret. But hey, it's just $20. I can stop repeating those if I correct myself early on. I also have a hard time makign friends. I liked Emily but I realized things didn't work out between her and I because we are in two different phased in life. She just ended a 6 year relationship and she is enjoying her freedom, feeling liberated. I was liberated for decades doing crazy stupid shit my whole life after parents' passing and now I want to live intentionally, think long term. She and I are not the same. Plus she tried imposing her bullshit on me and I got sick of it. She didn't try to udnerstand and accept things. Working with my brother is very frustrating because he is an ungrateful asshole. At the same time my parents didn't and wouldn't want me to abandon him to die or for destruction. So I am trying to help him. I went to station bar in the mornign. I wanted a quiet place to think adn relax. I have never sat at a bar and had my breakfast so it was very weird. I didn't know what to say, where to sit, how to get started. However, the bartender was ok even though initially he was a weird. I tipped him anyway. I have come into the realization that the workers like him are very under-paid. I have decided to stop manicure and pedicure altogether. While doing my pedicure etc. they tend to injur me with those sharp edged tools and not sure on who else they have used those. I don't want to risk getting AIDS or any other STD so I have decided to be safe than sorry. I will be doing my own pedicure and manicure. It would be also wonderful when I buy a vanity set and I have my own little space for self care. I am excited to move to a new apartment in Manhattan. It give me more access to the events and professoinal networking while also helping me tap into opportunities. I prefer a doorman building so have to thin a bit as well. The fix of everything is getting thorugh my CISSP as quickly as possible. I also I get pregnant and have a baby soon. It's gonna be tough with work but I will manage it somehow. Once I get into a director position, it will give me more time to strategize delegate while managing the household. Today I have a lot to do as well. Then going to go to the gym. Worst of all, I have allergies. Just hate it and it's so embarrassing. I am happy though today. People were nice to me. I was nice to them. Went great overall.

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